I might have chosen a different start…

OK, so here’s the thing. I don’t have a lot of time to write here as the Habs take on Pittsburgh in game two at what can only be described as stupid o’clock today and I have pregame rituals to get started.

With the restraint on time I’m currently experiencing, I won’t get too far into this 2 p.m. ET start time for a playoff game. But I will say, catering to the needs of a country whose fans are grossly outnumbered by those who’d rather watch half-retarded people drive in a counter-clockwise circle is not just annoying, it’s flippin’ useless.

But, that’s just the way it is (my LEAST favourite cliché statement on earth by the way) and I have no choice but to rearrange my routine.

Before I offer my thoughts on Les Glorieux, allow me to say a few words about the rest of round two as well, seeing as this is NOT a Habs blog.

Really, it’s not.

How many of you out there are zip-for-four after game one as far as teams you are cheering for? I know it’s not just me because the four teams to lose in game one are ALL either my favourite or my best friends’ favourites and we are all – at least publicly – rooting for each other. For now, that is.

San Jose and the people who actually still believe in this club after a decade of ‘even-funnier-than-the-Buffalo-Bills’ are probably feeling pretty confident these days. After all, you might too if you were all-too used to being upset by someone 20 points your inferior.

But after sneaking past a pile of rookies in Colorado, the Sharks outplayed Detroit for 1:19 the other night and tiptoed away with a win. Good for them. I’m not sold. Heatley got his FIRST of the playoffs that night and he’s THE guy brought in to put them over the top.

Nabakov stinks whenever it matters and the Wings are full of those who smell terrific. If San Jose actually wins the Cup this year they’ll have to do it with me kicking and screaming the entire way.

I’m not too surprised the Boston Bruins were able to beat Buffalo – a group carried by goaltending this season – and advance to round two. And now that they have their best player back in the lineup, not to mention the early series lead over Philly, the Bruins have to be considered a threat.

They have some scoring, some toughness, some big strong defensemen and a good goalie. These are all the things necessary to win in the spring and with the favourites almost all falling in the East, I’m no longer betting against Beantown.

I just REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY dislike them. Go Flyers.

The Canucks killed Chicago last night. Antti Niemi was hung out by his Hawks teammates and a very skilled group from Vancouver handed them their ass for it. Everything I just said the Bruins have, the Canucks have more of and that’s a scary thought for Chicago. There isn’t much to say here. If the Hawks think they can play like that and rely on Niemi to give them a Halak-esque performance, they are screwed.

On to the Habs.

Had I posted immediately after their game-one loss to the Pens it might have looked something like this:

Um, crap. The end.

Let’s recap: Absolutely everything the Canadiens relied on to get past Washington missed the flight to Pittsburgh. Halak was clearly much too exhausted to be playing game one so soon after round one – thanks scheduling morons – and got lit up five times on 20 shots and the most talked about penalty kill in the playoffs put up a goose egg in the wrong category for two periods.

Oh and just for good measure Andrei Markov, the Habs best player, went down with his second weird-ass injury of the year and most likely won’t see the ice again this series.

With all that on the mind, it’s hard to imagine many Habs fans out there were feeling to good after that game. But after I sat and thought about it for a bit I realized, aside from Markov’s knee, we should feel pretty good about this series.

For starters, I’m not worried about Jaro and neither should you be. If he doesn’t make another save this season, he’s still the reason we are watching them play in May. I’m sure he’ll bounce back this afternoon but if he doesn’t, yet another look at Price this season couldn’t hurt. I mean, deciding between which of these young studs to stake your future on deserves as mush research as possible if you ask me and seeing as how the Habs are on borrowed time anyway, who could complain?

As far as the penalty kill is concerned, while I know the Pens are much smarter about their man advantages than the Caps, they WON’T get four power play goals again. And more importantly, the Habs won’t get such dumbass penalties again either.

Of the first four Pittsburgh power plays – all goals – the Habs had a too may men, a delay of game and a roughing call from Gomez jumping Cooke as result of a clean hit on Markov. I’m not saying Gomez shouldn’t have done it, I’m just saying we shouldn’t be shocked they scored as a result of it.

It’s kind of like a leadoff walk in baseball. They ALWAYS seem to come around to score.

I thought aside from shorthanded situations the Habs completely controlled that game and showed the Pens’ lack of invincibility. Fleury is not Miller or Brodeur either and if the Habs continue to shoot they WILL continue to score.

And I like Montreal’s chances of tightening up their discipline and consequently their penalty kill, as well as showing up with a superstar goalie again.  So, even if they don’t win this game today and don’t get back the services of Markov this entire series, I believe the Habs can comeback and win this one.

Of course, I picked Pittsburgh to take this in six, but that’s beside the point.

Enjoy the games.

Yeah, this is a blog. So what? Wanna make somethin’ of it?

Well seeing as I’m unable to do any work this morning because I’m completely snowed in – cue hysterical laughter from any and all American or West Coast readers – and I seem to be the only person in southern Alberta with working power this morning, I feel somewhat inclined to post a blog.

Now I know I said a while ago I was ready to get back into regular posting but I really do have a solid excuse for misleading you. As it turns out, I was lying. And apparently I do that sometimes even when I’m not trying to.

I don’t know if I was waiting for something truly inspiring to write about or if I just lost the ability to come up with worthwhile thoughts for a bit there but hopefully the mass of sports the spring brings us can give me a little something to discuss from time to time.

Of course, there is nothing bigger to discuss than tonight’s commencement of the NHL playoffs.

I’m generally not a big predictions guy because they are simply guesses, no matter how educated. Being right 10 times in a row doesn’t necessarily mean you have any idea what you’re talking about, while being consistently wrong doesn’t necessarily make you an idiot.

Every result of every game in every professional sport is simple proof anything can happen. And anything DOES happen.

The best teams must still play well to beat the worst teams and absolutely no one on the outside can account for the unlimited variables contributing at all times toward how well someone does or does not play.

That being said, I’m telling you what I think anyway.

The West:

San Jose (1) vs Colorado (8) – OK so right off the bat we have the prime example of why predictions are dumb in the first place. Every single year for a decade the Sharks have started and finished the regular season as serious Cup contenders and every single year they get knocked off really early. But every single year countless media experts have them as their eventual champ. Well, not this guy. I refuse to put my name beside the Turquoise Tankers until they prove to be something else. With all due respect to his fans, Joe Thornton has been the best example of a big-game bust the professional sporting world has to offer for years and I can’t in good conscience pick a team he plays for to go anywhere, regardless of the inexperience of their opponent. Therefore, I pick Colorado and all their rookies to win in six games. And if they don’t, I pick San Jose’s next opponent to do it in five.

Chicago (2) vs Nashville (7) – While I admit they have tweaked their uniforms here and there for the better and they are a pretty exciting team for the most part on the ice, all I picture when I think of the Nashville Predators is a giant, unsightly mustard stain. So even though I believe Nashville could pose some serious trouble for the Hawks, I’ll be adamantly cheering for their failure. But this is a good thing because even the unbiased portion of my brain thinks Chicago will win this one in six games, though it will likely be in spite of mediocre goaltending from Cristobal Huet.

Vancouver (3) vs L.A. Kings (6) – This to me is the most exciting of the Western series to watch and because of that is also the biggest coin toss as to who will come out on top. The Canucks have the Art Ross winner, his twin brother, solid two-way forwards, a great blueline and the gold-medal-winning goaltender – though Luongo has stunk it up a bit lately. The Kings have the best defenseman in the league – even though he’s so young we’re not supposed to call him that yet ­– a great group of speedy, skilled forwards complimented by some good size and toughness, and a solid, albeit unproven, net-minder. I honestly believe this could go either way so I will simply choose based on experience and home games, and Vancouver has the edge in both. Canucks in seven.

Phoenix (4) vs Detroit (5) – Awwww, isn’t it heartwarming to see what the Phoenix Coyotes have accomplished in the midst of all their off-ice turmoil and uncertainty? This is without a doubt one of the best stories the NHL has to offer this year and it would be just wonderful to see them make a solid run at the Cup to show the desert fans that hockey is a sport they can love. Yeah? Well story’s over sweetheart, you got Detroit. They were like 17-3 and down the stretch and are full of proven winners. Wings in an easy five.

The East:

Washington (1) vs Montreal (8) – A few weeks back when I first thought these two teams might meet in round one I started to search for a diplomatic way to tell you all I thought the Habs would win that series. They are one of the only teams to win in Washington this season and they almost did it twice. But more importantly, Jose Theodore is the only French-Canadian goalie alive who doesn’t make his career stoning the Habs and seems to even be intimidated by his former club. However this was all before the Habs proved to be the softest team in the league with no hope of beating anyone unless their goaltender stands on his head. And then for good measure, Thomas Plekanec gives the Caps extra momentum – as if they needed it – by insulting Theodore and saying “he’s good but it’s not like we’re facing Miller or Brodeur.” Smart comment from a guy who has yet to perform well in the post season and is hoping to land a big-money deal in a few months. Washington in five.

New Jersey (2) vs Philadelphia (7) – The only team entering the playoffs with as little momentum as Montreal is Philly. While that triumphant shootout win over NYR surely gave them a high to take into the first round, I seriously doubt it will matter a lick against the best goalie of all time and his supporting cast of Parise and Kovalchuk and Elias and Zajac and Langenbrunner and Rolston and so on and so on… Devils in five.

Buffalo (3) vs Boston (6) – Maybe it’s solely because I’m a Habs fan or maybe these two teams really are that lame but I can’t think of a series I’d rather watch less than this one. Boston has nothing but heart to hang on to as far as I’m concerned, while Buffalo has serious speed and goaltending advantages. Buffalo will win in six, but wake me up when they do.

Pittsburgh (4) vs Ottawa (5) – I know 4-vs-5 series should be tough to pinpoint but, as was in the West, I believe this one is an easy pick. Ottawa has been a team no one can really figure out this season as most of their campaign was riddled with lengthy streaks. A good month would shoot them up the standings, while a bad month would follow and bring everyone back to their heels. Pittsburgh on the other hand played pretty consistent all season, though they were nipped by the Devils for the division crown and they are, of course the defending champs. Even if Malkin continues to underperform I’m still sure the Pens will take this series easily. I’ll say six games but if it goes less, I’ll be the least surprised.

So those are my picks. But like I said, take them for what they are worth. If the Flyers beat the Preds for the Stanley Cup in two months, I’m not taking responsibility for any bets you may have lost along the way.

Bye for now!

Making little sense of recent suspensions

I’ll be completely honest.

When the NHL resumed after that spectacle of amazing hockey we saw during the Olympics, it took me a few games to get back into the swing. Actually, to tell you the truth, league hockey was pretty much boring me to sleep.

But I’m feeling 100 per cent physically again and am fully re-engaged and ready to embark on my favourite time of year, hockey playoffs. Of course the actual post season is a few weeks away still but for many teams – with the new parody of the league it’s probably most teams – crunch time has long begun.

And simply because of the sheer numbers, we could be in for one of the best regular-season finishes ever. Will Detroit miss the playoffs, ending 18-straight years and the longest active playoff streak in North American professional sports? A 2-1 win over the Flames says no but their lead over Calgary sits at just three.

Who will claim the final spots in the East? An explosive restart after the Olympics for the Habs makes a statement, but teams I cheer for don’t stand much chance in the grand scheme so only time will tell.

Even the bottom of the heap is fun to watch, as we all watch the Taylor Hall sweepstakes. Of course the lottery ensures last place won’t be a lock for No. 1 but that doesn’t stop us from wondering about stuff like if Edmonton will finally get some luck or if Toronto will be watching Beantown take Hall with the Leafs’ pick.

But with everything great about the league right now and all the races and drama coming down the stretch, the stories garnering the most attention – at least in the U.S., where we seem to want the game to grow so badly – are the suspensions (or lack there of) resulting from dirty hits.

Most notably of course is the Great Eight Alex Ovechkin, who pushed Chicago’s Brian Campbell from behind at full speed into the boards, breaking his clavicle and ribs. But two others – Montreal’s Max Lapierre on the Sharks’ Scott Nichol and Pittsburgh’s Matt Cooke on the Bruins’ Marc Savard – occurred in almost the same week and when all three resulted in different punishments, the debate began.

Let’s start with Lapierre because he probably received a punishment closest to the level of his crime. The mouthy Canadien blatantly pushed Nichol from behind into the boards, knocking Nichol out for 7-10 days.

Lapierre smirked on the bench afterwards, showing zero remorse for being a total disgrace to the greatest sport on earth, and got tagged with a four-game suspension. The fact is Lapierre is a no-name player who just gets playing time in the league because he plays like a pest. Only he’s terrible at it, runs from physicality after the whistle and hasn’t contributed on the score sheet in any real positive fashion all season.

Basically, he’s easy to hit big. They could have given him lots more and no one would have complained.

Matt Cooke, who put his shoulder so square into the temple of Savard that the small Bruin playmaker likely won’t go a day without a headache until Christmas, is just barely a step up from Lapierre and could have been hit hard and fast by the league.

Instead, however, the NHL gives him nothing. Not one single game. In fact, Cooke didn’t even sit for two minutes or less in the penalty box.

And I know that clearly means the league agrees with the referee’s call that the hit was clean but you can be the judge:

Now I’m fine with being disagreed with so if you also find that hit to be clean, please let me know in the comments section. But if you could just make sure to include the exact words the league should say to the family of the first player who doesn’t wake up from a hit like that, I would appreciate it.

Finally, we have Ovechkin, whose hit was much like Lapierre’s, though Ovy’s clearly didn’t have the same malicious intent and it looked like he wished it hadn’t happened afterwards. But Ovechkin is a repeat offender and the hit was about as dirty as he’s had. Yet he gets two games.

Now I’ve already come out in support of taking the injury out of the equation because some guys can take more punishment than others and that doesn’t change the dirtiness of the play. However, at the speed in which Campbell hit those boards, I can’t think of too many athletes who could have escaped without similar injuries, if not much worse.

Not to mention the fact Ovechkin just took out one of the top defencemen on possibly the biggest competition Washington might face in a Stanley Cup final.

I guess  my question in all of this is, how is one of these any less terrible than the other? And then my second question is, how do they decide on these suspensions in the first place? We’re always told of these hearings with Colin Campbell, who then hands out a ruling, but what the hell does that really mean? Does he think he’s fooling people with these calls?

There can only be so many explanations to this. Maybe Campbell’s under pressure from something at home and is too distracted to make rational decisions. Maybe he’s a drinker. Or maybe he doesn’t decide on suspensions at all and maybe they have that monkey from TSN come in to spin a wheel. (Maggie, not Cybulski.)

The point is, while you can’t just write a rule book to govern all these hits because they differ so much, you can certainly show consistency, especially with incidents so close together.

This double standard and wishy-washy way of running a league will only make them look stupid and then the NHL’s already-fragile reputation will be down the toilet for good.

And how far can that really be away? My cousin sent me a message today essentially comparing the league’s officiating to the CFL.

Need I say more?

More Cormier reaction, with some random thoughts

This business of having to pay bills is really messing with my blog desires.

I wanted so badly to post some thoughts on the world of sports, namely hockey, namely the NHL, namely two teams from Alberta, who made me feel less ashamed to be a Habs fan last night. Unfortunately I’ve been swamped for days with assignments and simply have to get caught up and onto planning my lengthy excursion to Vancouver or I’ll be staying in Casa del Sentra.

But I will say this about those games last night: If 6-0 (Avs over Oil) is considered a spanking, is there even a word to describe 9-1 (Sharks over Flames) that doesn’t moonlight as a term for sexual assault?

Just wondering.

There really was something in the air as they say, though, because half of the evening’s 10 games were blowouts of four or more goals. Somewhere in that is a joke about goalies, somebody’s sister and being scored on more times than, but I’m not thinking of it right now. It’s been a long day.

Anyhoo,

The debate continues over Patrice Cormier’s pending suspension. Although, I believe the talk is more on what he WILL get and not what he SHOULD get, which most seem to agree is a QMJHL pink slip.

Severity of injury to the victim, whether this writer agrees or not, seems to always factor into the punishment. To demonstrate, here’s a video of Erie Otters Mike Liambus hitting Kitchener Rangers rookie Ben Fanelli last season.

Fanelli suffered severe head and facial trauma and is still recovering at home, having yet to play since. Liambus was suspended for the rest of the season, which really meant the rest of his career but is now playing in the International Hockey League for the Nobody-Cares-So-Don’t-Worry-About-Its.

My point is Liambus was a no-name player in the Ontario Hockey league and Fanelli was extremely hurt. Both made throwing the culprit out of the league a lot easier for OHL commissioner David Branch. I promise you that decision is way harder this time.

I know the two incidents happened in different leagues but they both exist under the Canadian Hockey League and must at least want to hold similar standards. But if they don’t strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger on this one, you can bet it will be because Cormier is a second-round draft pick of New Jersey, former captain of Team Canada and the victim is going to be fine. Not because it’s a different league.

In fact – with all due respect to Fanelli – Liambus’ hit was far-less dirty than Cormier’s. If you watch it, you can see Fanelli turn into the boards at the last nanosecond. Liambus was clearly about to lambaste a defenceman square-up and it went bad. He even stopped skating, like you’re supposed to, and hit him in glide.

Cormier hopped off the bench, skated right toward Mikael Tam and threw out an elbow with absolute intent. Simple as that, in my mind.

So, while I’ll wait until the decision actually comes down before I cast a raging blog of judgment, I’m nervous that Cormier won’t receive the right punishment. A decision like this affects so many, we’ll just have to be patient for now.

On a total side note:

I normally keep my blogs sports related but I have to mention something I heard today. First I would like to extend my continued best wishes to the people of Haiti. I saw today that Canadians have raised $40 million and the government is going to match it. There are just so many reasons to be proud of our country these days.

Unfortunately, not everyone has figured it out quite yet. Yesterday, my folks were out shopping at a store I won’t name in a city I’ll leave out, but shop here if you need 10 litres of lemon juice for $6, and Go Riders!

Anyway my parents were discussing the Haiti relief because of a sign posted and the girl at the till overheard and piped up with the following: “Yeah, they only want our money because our Lieutenant Governor is from Haiti.”

Now, having met my mother, I can tell you she would pipe up to the pope if he used improper grammar, so you can bet your behind she has no second thoughts over taking on a cashier in a public place. I wasn’t there but I’m guessing the sight of my pop rushing my mom to the car before she choked this girl is one fellow shoppers are still talking about.

But, aside from the obvious, doesn’t this situation prove the theory that stupidity is starting to take over? And if you’re just figuring out as I’m writing this that our Governor General Michaelle Jean is Haitian and Lieutenant General is a military or provincial rank, then I rest my case.

Don’t feel bad if you’re one of these people, I’m not trying to say you’re stupid. I’m simply saying peoples’ general knowledge of anything not social-networking-device related is declining by the day and WAY too many people spew off at the mouth without a clue on what they are talking about.

Um, er, wait… no… crap.

Montreal Canadiens gave it their best shot at the playoffs

First published in the Lethbridge College Endeavour, March 18, 2009

No matter how you say it — Les Canadiens, Les Glorieux, Le Bleu Blanc et Rouge or the Habs — the Montreal Canadiens are unmatched in hockey for history and success. Twenty-four Stanley Cups in 99 years is not only amazing, it’s ridiculous and no franchise will ever catch them.

Had I wrote this piece between the September afternoon I thought of it and two months ago, that wouldn’t have been the last positive thing I said. I would have gone on to talk about the great Habs of all time, the up-and-comers and the phenomenal job the organization has done putting together a spectacular centennial celebration.

Boy can things change.

It was Jan. 24 and the continent’s eyes were on Montreal. A three-day event focused around the Canadiens. It was all-star weekend, or what I now dub; the weekend the Habs jumped the shark.

Since then, the team, who sat second in the East at the break, has gone a mediocre, if not awful, 9-12-2. For some teams — cough, cough… the Leafs — that’s a pretty respectable mark. However, when you’re the defending conference regular-season champions, the first hockey team to turn 100 and from a city containing people who burn city property when you anger them, that record is called a tailspin.

Even when the Habs have actually won, they’ve looked terrible doing it. It’s one thing to be outshot 50-20 versus San Jose but when the league-worst New York Islanders skate your team into the ground on home ice, something needs to be done.

Of course, something could have been done at the trade deadline but once they added a half-speed, 39-year-old Mathieu Schneider and a fourth-line centre, who gives you seven solid minutes a game in Glenn Metropolit, why make another move?

Habs GM Bob Gainey said, during a press conference on March 4, he wants the group he put together to prove him right and that’s why he didn’t make a deadline deal. But what I heard was ‘I tried to trade everyone of these lazy underachievers but every GM in the league had a stroke from laughter when I attempted to get real talent in return.’

Of course there are many possible reasons why every single player seems subdued. It hasn’t exactly been a banner year away from the rink.

The team’s best player and biggest baby, Alex Kovalev, was spending too much time worrying about the “the kids on his team he can’t control” and zero time actually exuding effort. Gainey had to send him to the corner for a two-game timeout to think about what he had done, which didn’t help the club finish off a disastrous road trip.

Kovalev might have had a point about the kids. While he was at home trying to forget how to be brutal, a story broke naming a handful of Habs linked to an organized crime syndicate. It turned out to be less than first thought but it looks like the Kostitsyn brothers’ parents left something out of the “don’t take candy from strangers” lesson. I believe you’re not supposed to take cars and hookers from a criminal either.

Kovalev seems to be at least back to caring a little and is producing on the score sheet, anyone under police investigation has looked completely lost and the team continues to lose. Gainey’s response to this debacle was like most GM’s who feel the pressure. He fired the head coach.

What has this last act of desperation brought his troubled team? One lousy overtime win over the powerhouse Edmonton Oilers. Wow, break out the champagne.

No offence Habs, fans but take it from someone who actually believed the club had a chance to win on its centennial; there is no turning this around. No amount of desperate attempts will change that.

Final quarter will be interesting

First published in the Lethbridge College Endeavour, March 4, 2009

Unfortunately, with the impeccable timing of today’s noon NHL trade deadline, by the time you read this, all transactions will be final. Therefore, it makes little sense for me to predict what has already happened.

However, if any Leafs fans are reading this, I sure hope you are basking over all the dead weight Brian Burke just shipped out. And Habs fans; I sure hope Glen Metropolit wasn’t Bob Gainey’s last acquisition of the year.

Moving on.

Regardless of who was picked up by whom, the playoffs are fewer than 20 games away and it should prove to be a very exciting homestretch. There are great races ahead at both ends of each conference. There are feel-good stories, and of course, there are even some feel-not-so-good stories — as if the media would allow anything less.

In the Western Conference, literally no one is out. The division winners seem set as Detroit, Calgary and San Jose have seemingly insurmountable leads. Speaking of San Jose, excellent work picking up 97-year-old Claude Lemieux. Not only will he provide amusing anecdotes with grumbled phrases like “back then, we didn’t have remote controls…” but fellow senior Jeremy Roenick finally has a bridge partner.

While we’re on the subject of the elderly, Mats Sundin has begun to pay off for Vancouver. Their slow start after his arrival will likely keep them from challenging the Flames for the division but I can guarantee you one thing: Sundin will get the Canucks at least as far as he got the Leafs.

As for the rest of the West, I don’t much care how it plays out as long as it’s entertaining. But if this conference produces a Cinderella story, as it loves to do, and that story comes from a place beginning with ‘Minne’ and ending with ‘sota,’ I’m writing all my columns about professional darts until the Cup is won.

The Eastern Conference contains more of the league’s bottom-feeders than the West, but the next 20 games might just be more interesting closer to the Atlantic. A photo finish looks quite plausible at the top of the standings, where Boston looked to have things sealed last August. When New Jersey lost Marty Brodeur, most of us figured the Devils would drop in the standings, at least a little. Instead, the living legend undercuts his recovery time by a month and then waltzes into the dressing room of the division leaders. Oh and he’s 3-0 with two shutouts since returning (pending Tuesday’s game). I wonder if anyone made a move today bigger than getting back the best goalie of all time?

Heading into last night’s affair versus Brodeur, the Leafs had won four in a row. A beat reporter for the team asked head coach Ron Wilson if, now that they are only eight points out of the playoff s, they should abandon their plan to sell veterans for prospects and picks. I don’t know what comes out of the faucets in Toronto but if it mixes with coke and ice, I’m going.

The little honeymoon that Ottawa fans were enjoying after switching coaches seems to be over. Can we please just put this team to rest already? If someone brings me a trumpet, I’m pretty sure I remember how to play Taps.

The New York Rangers solidified their hilarity as an organization by jumping at the chance to grab Sean Avery. Is this their answer to a free fall? Put a loudmouth player on the bench with their new loudmouth coach? Once they rid themselves of Avery last year, was it really a good idea to get him again? I didn’t think people actively pursued cancer.

Anyway, enjoy the last quarter. It just might be a crazy one.

Call your bookie, the winner is here

First published in the Lethbridge College Endeavour, Jan. 21, 2009

In a salary cap world, the league is seeing serious parody, which has resulted in about a dozen teams who can dream of legitimate playoff runs. However, in my not-so-humble opinion, five teams have emerged as true favourites.

Here, in absolutely particular order, are the clubs most likely to engrave the Stanley Cup this spring:

1. Detroit Red Wings
When a team is the defending champs and they’ve only dropped eight decisions in over 40 games, they remain the favourite. Yes they are behind San Jose and yes they have had subject goaltending thus far, but they can score six goals with their skates on the wrong feet and this freak of nature by the name of Nicklas Lidstrom still plays for them. It’s an overstated cliché but the Wings know how to win.

2. San Jose Sharks
Though they have shown a human side lately by losing a few contests, the Sharks are every bit as good as they seem. Their defence is one of the best in the league, thanks to happily trading a couple of never-will-be’s to Tampa for Dan Boyle, and every forward is having a career year except Joe Thornton, who has a career year every year. Th e only thing that keeps me from truly buying into the Sharks is the fact they’ve been expert favourites for most of this century and they lose in disappointing fashion every May, on cue.

3. Boston Bruins
No one tried harder than me to not believe the Bruin’s hype they slowly developed over the first half. However, all you need to do is look at some of the scores in their games and it’s clear this team is for real. They kill everyone. They do it on the road. They do it on back-to-backs. They do it in every aspect of the game and there are no signs the assault won’t continue.

4. Montreal Canadiens
As I said at the beginning of the season, the Habs might be the deepest team in the league, next to Detroit. Their record since Christmas is astonishing considering the injuries. How many teams could lose an entire scoring line, the club muscle, the stay-at-home defenceman and their starting goalie all for more than a month, yet somehow hold the fourth best winning percentage in hockey? They don’t get a lot of respect because they don’t have any one player dominating the league, but they manage one of the game’s top off ences and defences and play great team hockey

5. Chicago Blackhawks
The only knock on this team is their inexperience. They have everything: superstar leaders, speed and skill throughout, a stud defenceman and two solid goaltenders, one of which has won the whole thing. Youth might keep them from other people’s favourite lists, but I believe youth provides a level of ignorance to the pressure of playoff s and, since everyone will focus on other conference rivals, they could sneak right by the expected clubs.

Honourable mention goes to Washington, who almost made my list. Apologies go to the Flames, who lost their spot on this list last weekend.

Ten NHL issues to ponder over the holidays

First published in the Lethbridge College Endeavour, Dec. 3, 2008

As the Endeavour takes a break for the holiday season, Shmitzy Says it’s time to discuss a few issues around the NHL that have become hot topics over the season’s first half.

1. All hail, our saviour has come.
I’m really happy for Leafs Nation that they signed an established GM in Brian Burke. However, the city has already given this guy a robe, papal tiara and a place in the heavens before he has even seen his new house in Toronto, let alone made any transactions with the club. Before Leaves fans do what they always do and start towing cars on Yonge Street to make room for the parade floats, can they give the guy seven or eight days to get his cable hooked up?

2. Beware the number of the beast.
Bruins, Rangers, Penguins, Habs and Capitals had better look out. New Jersey’s No. 31 is going to be back come playoff s and you just know the Devils are going to sneak into the eighth spot and play the No. 1 seed. Brodeur will play just enough games prior to the first round to get back to his usual ‘I sold my soul to Satan and I like it’-type goaltending.

3. Blame the French!
To the people who are blaming Habs fans for the all-star voting, I say what league are you watching? Yes, it’s stupid that fans vote in the starting lineups, but it’s a league problem. Don’t blame Habs fans for being smart enough to figure out they can manipulate the system. What’s the rest of the continent doing? I’m not into geography but I’m fairly certain the rest of North America still outnumbers Quebec.

4. Who appointed these Senators?
Ottawa is awful. Told ya’ so.

5. Anything you can do, I can do better.
Remember when Alexander Semin said Sidney Crosby was nothing special? Before we write him off , let’s give this kid the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he wasn’t talking about hockey, maybe he was talking about backgammon. I hear Crosby sucks at backgammon.

6. How many games did you say you’ve played again?
Can we stop calling teams the best when they have a one-point advantage in the standings, but have played six more games than anyone else? Just because the Rangers are in first doesn’t mean a whole bunch when they needed 117 games in October to get there.

7. How good is your golf game?
If you are a Western Conference team and your name doesn’t begin with San Jose or Detroit, enjoy the formality you call ‘the rest of the season.’ I know anything can happen in the playoffs, but it’s just not going to.

8. Don’t turn your back on me!
It’s a terrible act to hit another player from behind, but whose idea was it to teach players to turn away from a check? For every 10 hits from behind, five of them could have been prevented had the player not turned into it. I know chicks dig scars, but it’s not as cool when they surround shattered vertebrae.

9. Anytime, any place.
Fighting continues to make a major comeback and is up over 20 per cent since last year. Personally, I couldn’t be happier. Someone needs to teach Anderson Silva how to skate, and quick.

10. The old man is actually right.
As much as it pains me to agree with Don Cherry and his over-the-top monologues, it’s time for no-touch icing already. Are countless broken legs not enough, or do we need some dead bodies to wake up these rule-making morons?

Happy Holidays.