Fuel on the fire, sorry

While I concede my own efforts are not exactly diverting attention from this, the Alexandre Burrows/Stephane Auger debacle is still causing debate after the League chose to fine the player and leave the ref alone.

I can’t believe I thought the NHL might take an opportunity to at least pretend it mattered whether something fishy really happened. But I think I believed in Santa ‘til I was 12 so I’ve been burned by faith before.

I spoke to a photographer buddy from Toronto – NOT a Leaf fan – who had choice words for Burrows as a player. The funniest ones can’t be repeated but somewhere in the middle he defined Burrows as a Darcy Tucker with skill.

Wow, I just used Darcy Tucker in a sentence with “skill” and it didn’t include any of the words: no, none, zero or wouldn’t know it if it hit him in the face.


Anyway, what I’m saying is my friend’s assessment of Burrows’ style, while not inaccurate at all, happens to be irrelevant in this case. Is he a mouthpiece on the ice, frustrating and annoying everyone not wearing a Canucks jersey? Yes, and he’s proving to be great at it.

But Auger clearly said something to Burrows before that game and it wasn’t, “Listen, bygones are bygones. When you pretended to be hurt last month, making me look like a jackass, I totally saw the humour in it.”

However, even video evidence of this conversation prompted nothing more than a, “So, did you say it?” from the NHL. Gee I wonder why no one can find the guy with that laser pointer from Vancouver?

Thanks for pulling out all the stops, CSI.

Speaking of the laser pointer, why are we still trying to send some prankster to prison for not at all affecting the outcome of the game? A quick pat on the back to Kipper for doing his job even with the flash in his face will do here folks.

The nonsense about the danger to the retinas is too funny. I’m not saying they aren’t dangerous but I don’t remember the part in the game when Kiprusoff stood there completely still, holding his eye open, while the guy held the laser up. But I can’t say what happens during the commercials.

And while I’m talking Flames, good on Theo Fleury for apologizing for calling out the organization and some of its players last week but what I want to know is, why does he have to say he’s sorry? He’s not under contract with anyone and didn’t say anything that isn’t true.

Craig Conroy really is having a terrible year and Fleury really would have much more than 2G and 9A in 39 GP. And there is no doubt trading Robyn Regehr would aid in bringing back a top-six forward, which is exactly where that team lacks. And I bet the Flames are going out in the first round too, though more because Rene Bourque is their second-best forward and not because Fleury got cut.

OK, so Fleury’s demeanor when he said these things is the issue everyone seems to be having but, again, he’s in no way affiliated with hockey so who cares? Folks in Flamesville ought to worry about things that matter, like constantly praying for the continuing health of No. 12.


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